Falling in love is wonderful. You catch yourself smiling at random hours of the day and blushing furiously at your phone. You do tiny things for the other person just to see a smile appear on his/her face and you love spending hours doing absolutely nothing with your beloved. You create beautiful moments and ever lasting memories in the process.
Well, we’re definitely not trying to burst your bubble but to give you few precautionary measures before you take the leap. So here are 10 things you should make a note of before getting into a relationship.
1. KNOW THE PERSON
Don’t hurry. Make sure you first know the person you are falling in love with. Go out on dates, have plenty of conversations and spend some good amount of time knowing each other. Learn about the other’s traits, personalities, habits, likes and dislikes. Know about his/her work and hobbies, principles and goals. It’s always better to know whom you’re getting yourself into than regretting it later.
2. FALL IN LOVE FIRST
There’s a thin line between infatuation and falling in love. Make sure you’re doing the latter. A relationship is not a cup of tea. It requires genuine efforts and hard work from both ends. Give yourself time. Ask yourself questions. Do you see a future with the other person? Or is it just momentary? Do you love the other enough to work on flaws and sail through problems? Don’t jump into a relationship just for the sake of it.
3. DON’T GET INTO A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP
Break-ups can be a heart-wrenching experience. Not only does it leave you distraught and unhappy, it also bruises your self-esteem. You may find it hard to recover immediately. But getting into relationship is not a solution to get over a break-up. A rebound relationship does no good to the either of you. It’s unfair to get into a relationship just because you’re trying to forget your ex. Get into one only when you think you are ready and you love the person concerned. If you can’t get over your past, time is what you need, not a new relationship.
4. DON’T STOP LOVING YOURSELF
You’ll fall in love and it’s going to beautiful. But in the process, don’t forget to love yourself and take care of yourself. Remember to not become too dependent on your partner and make sure you choose yourself first whenever it’s necessary. Don’t lose the ability of judging what’s right and what’s wrong and keep your senses intact. Be comfortable in your own skin. Don’t change yourself for someone else.
5. SHOULD BE TWO WAYS
There is a concept of one-sided love but there’s no concept of one-sided relationship. A healthy relationship always works two ways, which means your partner should put as much effort into it as you do. Keep your self-esteem high; you shouldn’t be the only one making sacrifices and compromises in the relationship. You get what you give. Same way, you give what you get.
6. THINK LOGICALLY
Fall in love with your heart but don’t forget to think from your head. Well, love makes you go blind but definitely doesn’t leave you brainless. Think logically before you take emotional leaps. Think of long-term effects. Can the both of you work on your differences? Will your families be willing and happy seeing you both together? Is it the right time for you to be in a relationship? You have to ask questions and answer them yourself and then decide whether it’s all going to be worth it or not. Take help from a close friend if it requires.
7. CHECK COMPATIBILITY
Being compatible with your partner is an integral part of any relationship. Sometimes two people are in love with each other but a relationship still doesn’t work even after putting a lot of efforts into it. That is because the two of you are completely different from each other. Opposites do attract but there must be some amount of like-mindedness (in terms of values, habits, personalities) for a relationship to survive in the long run.
8. COMMUNICATION
Make sure to communicate to each other what you’re looking for. And go forward only if you both want the same. Do not settle for anything less. Though it may seem attractive at that hour it will have frustrating effects in the long run. Moving forward in your relationships, make the sincere effort to speak with integrity and courage. Don’t negate your thoughts and feeling by not speaking about them. If you are being sincere and the other person doesn’t like what you’re saying, that’s their prerogative.
9. BACKGROUND CHECK
Doing a background check before getting into a relationship is very important. Meet your partner’s friends and even family if possible. It’s essential to know how he/she behaves in front of his/her friends and family.
10. BE READY TO TAKE RISKS
Lastly, be ready to take what comes. As wonderful as relationships are, everyone who is in it or has been through it will tell you, it’s not a cakewalk. Put in genuine effort, give your best and keep it healthy but if you see the relationship is getting sour day by day, have the ability to move out of it. Bad relationships can transform you as a person so walk away before it’s too late. Accept the fact that you’ve had good times together and it’s okay to move on when things aren’t working out. Always have the strength to be able to do that.
Keep it healthy. Keep it real.
-SHRAMONA PODDAR
