Writing-the-QA

LETTER TO MYSELF

 

Hi,

Today looks bright and sunshiny and you have put on your favorite shade of lipstick; vigilantly coordinated your sling bag with those Lennon sunglasses you’ve recently bought; patted your cat and left home to attend the mandatory Sunday brunch with all your girlfriends. Today you are single, independent and effortlessly choosing yourself over anybody else in the world.

While you’ve your earplugs stuck to your ear and your pony-tailed hair going right and left, intently following your footsteps, there are hundreds around you conspicuously desiring to be you. They’re many more than just a handful, threatened by your confidence, in awe of your positive attitude, trying to replicate your incredible personality.
I’ve been a silent spectator, observing how beautifully you’re carrying yourself; watching how naturally you’ve created an aura around you that radiates optimism and exuberance as you walk down smiling at the street kids who giggle back at you. So here I am, your distant well-wisher just trying to put it across that never ever alter this magnificent you for anybody in this world. Don’t let someone make changes in you as if you are a draft or an unfinished film cut or an unedited picture. You’re always going to be the final showdown. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

You’re going to fall in love with someone someday. And it’s going to be beautiful. You will find yourself feeling wonderful things and doing atypical things for him willingly. You will experience those butterflies in the stomach and jitters down the spine that you’ve read about only in books. You will catch yourself blushing at random moments and smiling for no particular reason as if there’s always an inaudible background music playing around you. The magic of love will finally find you and enchant you by its charm.

That’s the thing about love, you’ll learn. It’s stronger than all emotions combined. It’s inexplicable. Poets and writers have written pages on it, musicians and lyricists have composed songs on it, prophets and ancestors have built tales on it, everyone has their own definition of it.

Love is made of tiny moments that transform into unforgettable memories as time passes by. Love is when he strings his guitar and you hum his favorite song staring into his eye in a room full of people. Love is when he falls asleep on the couch while watching the match and you put the covers and plant a kiss on his cheek, being careful about not waking him up. Love is when you hold hands in a crowded bus under covers while intertwining the strings of the earphones with your fingers, trying to maintain a straight face. Love is when you stand on the beach together and stare at the moon, comfortable by the silence that soaks in between the two of you. Love is those tiny surprises you plan for him; those random texts you receive in the middle of a bad day; the heartbeat that goes faster every time he stands before you; the smile that goes wider every time he stares at you; the blush that goes redder every time he holds you close.

Love is a delightful feeling and you must experience every bit of those tingling sensations coupled with giggles and infinite laughter. And while being in the middle of it, all I want you to remember in a tiny corner of your heart is that ‘Always Choose Yourself First’.

Promise me, love.

Promise me that you’ll never compromise your dreams and aspirations for him.
Promise me, you’re going to take care of yourself and never let him hurt you to an extent that you fail to recognize yourself anymore.
Promise me you’re never going to shut your eyes and just let things be, if it gets difficult just because you’re now scared of the other side of the world where you once belonged, which you once owned. Promise me, that even if you’re too comfortable in the embrace of his arms, you’re not going to blind yourself from the right and the wrong just because he has become your comfort, your habit.
Promise me, it’s yourself whom you’ll approach when you need to be dependent.
It’s you whom you’re going to give the largest part of your heart to.
It’s you whom you’re going to give the power of making you or breaking you.
It’s you who’ll always be your first love.

Remember to blow kisses at the mirror like you used to and do that little skip and jump you love to do when you walk. Remember to hold that stubborn smile on your face when you realize there’s no way you can win that argument and remember to buy flowers for yourself on days you’re extremely happy. Remember to spend afternoons in bookstores alone, curling up in a corner comfortably and remember to always dance like you used to, with your hair flying and your face glowing as if you’re performing the last dance of your lifetime.

Because you know,

He will only be in love with you if you keep falling in love with yourself every day.

 

Love,
Your counterpart.

– SHRAMONA PODDAR

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